themed weddings are all the rage now! tell your guest to show up wearing all black and to shave their heads, bring a white plastic bowl, skip the gifts- just $500 cash.
then have them stand outside the dilapidated house you’ve chosen as a venue for 3 days (they’re waiting to see jack + tyler- you decide who is who). once admitted, serve them clam chowder in their bowl by waiters in all white with smashed faces. vodka + cigarettes should be in endless supply, with various bottles + packaging arranged on the tables.
for after dinner entertainment, the guests can enjoy reading excerpts from towering stacks of decaying, archaic readers digest and national geographic magazines. doubles as decor! toss big fat rubber lips for the get-away.
really special touch? marla popping in and out through the night. or angel face.
and for favors? soap, of course.
love to all,